sauna slut | noun | \ˈsȯ-nə slət \

100% organic cotton tees — pesticide & herbicide free

SAUNA SLUT — "If Lost, Return to Nearest Sauna"
$55.00

The OG Sauna Slut “Return to Nearest Sauna” tee is made for sauna lovers, cold plungers, and wellness obsessives who live for the heat. For the person whose friends already know where to look. 100% organic cotton, pre-washed for softness, unisex sizing. Wears well in the heat. Designed to.

FABRICATION
100% organic cotton
Medium-weight fabric (180 g/m²)
Vegan certified and amfori BSCI approved for ethical production + responsible sourcing
Pesticide-free comfort

NO SEED OILS — "Return to Nearest Functional Medicine Doc."
$55.00

In case of emergency, contact someone who understands why you're doing this. 100% organic cotton, pre-washed, unisex. Clean tee for the clean eater.

FABRICATION
100% organic cotton
Medium-weight fabric (180 g/m²)
Vegan certified and amfori BSCI approved for ethical production + responsible sourcing
Pesticide-free comfort

TALLOW TRAMP — "If Lost, Return to Nearest Pasture"
$55.00

They'll know where to find you. 100% organic cotton, pre-washed, unisex fit. Soft enough for everyday wear. Durable enough for someone with your lifestyle choices.

FABRICATION
100% organic cotton
Medium-weight fabric (180 g/m²)
Vegan certified and amfori BSCI approved for ethical production + responsible sourcing
Pesticide-free comfort

PEPTIDE PIMP — "Return to Nearest Compound Pharmacy"
$55.00

They have your stack ready. 100% organic cotton, pre-washed, unisex. For the optimizer. Not their first biohack. Won't be the last.

FABRICATION
100% organic cotton
Medium-weight fabric (180 g/m²)
Vegan certified and amfori BSCI approved for ethical production + responsible sourcing
Pesticide-free comfort

TRUST THE PROTOCOL — "Return to Nearest Ketamine Clinic"
$55.00

The protocol is working. Trust it. 100% organic cotton, pre-washed, unisex. Wear it to the sauna. Wear it after. Wear it to the integration walk.

FABRICATION
100% organic cotton
Medium-weight fabric (180 g/m²)
Vegan certified and amfori BSCI approved for ethical production + responsible sourcing
Pesticide-free comfort

PEPTIDE PRINCESS — "Return to Nearest Compound Pharmacy"
$55.00

Same pharmacy, different energy. 100% organic cotton, pre-washed, slightly fitted. For the one who makes the protocol look effortless.

FABRICATION
100% organic cotton
Medium-weight fabric (180 g/m²)
Vegan certified and amfori BSCI approved for ethical production + responsible sourcing
Pesticide-free comfort

FABRICATION

100% organic cotton
Medium-weight fabric (180 g/m²)
Vegan certified and amfori BSCI approved for ethical production + responsible sourcing
Pesticide-free comfort